On sunnier days, life in sales can feel like a fun ride in a beautiful park. But on
some most days, it’s a never-ending, energy-sapping worry-go-round.
Since it’s Halloween week, I thought it would be fitting that we write some spooky sales stories that capture life in sales.
Proceed with caution. You have been warned ?
#1. A prospect promised to put me in touch with their Head of Sales. It’s been 20 years since.
#2. One day before signing Prospect: Let’s reconnect in Q1 of 2022.
#3. “We just don’t have the budget for this at the moment”. It’s Q1 of the fiscal year and they’re a public company.
#4. “We loved the demo and your product seems fantastic. We’ll get back to you.”
#5. The buyer said they’ll have to talk to the VP of Sales to get the sign-off for the purchase. Their company has a one-person Sales Team.
#6. “Leave application cancelled.”
#7. There’s nothing like vacationing in Green Bank, West Virginia. Until your wifi connects.
#8. Facebook and Instagram faced a global outage. Zoom was still working.
#9. My boss approved my Christmas leave. I just had to be available on standby.
#10. I got yelled at despite hitting 2x my sales quota. I’d forgotten to update Salesforce.
#11. A prospect diligently took notes during the demo. Then they went ahead and replicated our platform.
#12. I’ve been diagnosed with hypertension, high cholesterol, and anxiety. Today’s my one-year anniversary as a sales professional.
#13. 250 MQLs. 2 SQLs.
#14. I attended my first ever international sales conference today. On Zoom.
#15. My manager said, “Let’s do a quick call”. It was a Sunday.
#16. Received an email with ‘Sales Incentives’ in the subject line. They’d decided to scrap them.
#17. One day before signing Prospect: Our budgets have taken a hit due to unforeseen reasons.
#18. I shared my screen with the prospect for a demo. Our dashboard took 4 minutes to load.
#19. My boss rewarded my performance with a staycation. The hotel promised 24×7 high-speed free wifi.
#20. A prospect thoroughly loved our product. They decided to proceed with our competitor.
#21. I lied to them saying I hadn’t seen their last email yet. Didn’t know that they used Mailtrack.
#22. Told my wife that my manager was just as mean as a snake. I wasn’t on mute.
#23. One day before signing Prospect: I resigned today. Do keep in touch! ?
#24. My manager congratulated me on closing a deal that I’d promised to close before Q3. I’d forgotten to mention Q3 of next year.
#25. I was assigned a new lead on the CRM. It was a temporary, disposable email ID.
#26. The prospect agreed to move forward (after I mistakenly attached our internal cost price sheet).
#27. I wrote “Bosses are annoying most of the time. LOL”, in a casual email to the prospect. I hit “Reply to all” by mistake.
But also, the fearlessness
#28. Had a productive business dinner with a prospect last night. His COVID test came positive this morning.
#29. My manager congratulated me on closing a tough, high-value deal. I already know they’re going to be a bad-fit customer.
#30. I closed a huge sales deal this morning. My wife took me to the doctor soon after that. My hallucinations are getting wilder.
#31. MQL >> Prospect >> Opportunity >> Closed lost >> Alcoholism.
#32. Yesterday, a colleague of mine asked me to “relax”. They just found his dead body in the parking lot.
#33. I’m the most responsible employee. I was responsible for everything that went wrong at my last job.
#34. My prospect asked to speak to someone higher than me. I added mom to the meeting.
#35. My manager asked me to “close the deal by hook or by crook”. I was apprehended by the police today for threatening to kill the prospect’s family.
Make sure you watch a Disney movie right after reading this. Happy Halloween! ?